Personality Quiz: Online Fail

Like most casual internet users, I've had a Twitter account for a few years (if you want me to prove it, check it out @susankehoe, I know, the name is very creative), but in the last 9 months of so, it feels like people have actually started using it. Twitter seemed to always be the over anxious little brother of the internet, who had a cooler, more attractive older sibling in Facebook, who made sure everyone of his friends made fun of his annoying little brother that talked too much. But in the last year, the little Twitter brother grew up, learned the ways of the world, while his older brother started dabbling in some weird things and oddly trying to copy his little brother.

We're now living in a time where most connected people are using Facebook and Twitter often, and dabbling in other addictions such as Pinterest, Instagram, 4Square, and Tumblr just to name a tiny few. I think of it like the days when you had to carry a cell phone, calculator, GPS, 6 megapixel camera, compass and flip camera just to make it through an average trip to the library... I mean those days really weren't that long ago. Now if you have an iphone, you're pretty much good to go climb Mt. Everest. I feel like one day the internet will somehow join forces and we won't be repeating ourselves on every platform possible.

But in the mean time, it creates something in people that I have been furrowing my brow at for a while. All these social medias (of which I am fully apart of, I admit) create online personalities for people. And to say it bluntly, none of them are winning Best Personality in their senior superlatives. Almost all of them boil down to sharing waaaay too much. I've talked on here a lot about the lack of inner monologue in teenagers today (can you imagine yourself blogging/tweeting/facebooking in your room when you were grounded? Every day, I'm grateful my parents were on the far right side of the bell curve when it came to home internet). But it's not just for the kids anymore! A few examples:

• The mom/aunt/sibling who posts too many pictures of small children. I can't say it enough. Put up a few of the best and share them with the world, put the rest in a book that will embarrass them privately for the rest of their lives. And just a friendly reminder, no bodily fluids please. Ever.
  
• Celebrities who self-promote. Ugh, is there anything less becoming? (Other than complaining on a blog, of course).
• Pictures of yourself, looking cute, and justifying it by saying it's part of a "photo challenge". Here's the thing, you probably are really cute, but if you need to share it someone, go walk in a mall and show your bad self off, or if you're desperate, text a picture of your new scarf to your BFF- I did that this week. And she loved it.
• Pastors/Christian authors who brag too much about what's going on in their world. It's some people who I really like to listen to/read. I want to follow them online to glean some wisdom here and there, I just don't want a countdown to your church service or see you retweet your wife's comments on your new jeans. TMI.

Just remember, there is always, always something enticing about an air of mystery. Always. Think: dating, the best book you've read, every dramatic TV show: they don't spill the beans in the previews, on purpose. Facebook newsfeed got it right when they mastered the art of showing you a sample of what was going on, not everything, that way, if you're really interesting in someone, you could click on their profile and stalk away, but in the mean time, they would just tease you with a status update or two.

You may be saying, Susan, you're online personality is ruining my cup of coffee today, the simple answer is to stop following these people online! To that, I say, please stop yelling at me, and I wish it were that easy. But some of these people I have to keep tabs on! And maybe my online personality is a bit sarcastic and quick to point out the flaws in culture. Well, to be honest, it's not that far from my real personality, thank you very much.