Bready or Not

I hope you're not getting sick of side comments about couponers and the tales from the ranch that this blog is full of. Maybe just one more post. Have it in you?

I confess, I fell into the spell of crazy couponers that I JUST made fun of. Just barely though. Harris Teeter was doing triple coupons. You heard me TRIPLE. Up to 99 cents. Boom! I found a few random coupons I had under a dollar and swung by the store on the way home. I was surprised to not see as many coupon binders and moms with sharp glances and even sharper elbows. But ahhh the completely empty shelves explained it all. They beat me to it. Almost every deal. So I checked out with like 3 items, one of which being a random package of frozen bread rolls that were crazy cheap. I came home with 2 friends surprisingly stopping by. Our house was a mess, but I thought, hey at least I can serve cheap bread. I pulled out the 3 loaves and started to read the instructions. Enter the most complicated baking instructions in the history of the world. It involved multiple pans, ovens being turned off and on, everything in 20 minute intervals, and yes, a cooking time of 16 hours. 16 hours. I could order bread from Italy and have it arrive before this bread was done baking. I promised the guests if they came back by 10AM tomorrow they might have some bread.

And that my friends is why couponing is dumb. Who wants free bread that takes an eternity to bake? Ugh.

Back at the ranch... our nasty/cold May weather has been disappointed and our grass is growing at an exponential rate. One day we'll cut it... but while inspecting the jungle that is our back yard, I saw the best sign of spring:

Our neighbors told us that we had cherry trees in the backyard, enough to bake pies while we wait for the free bread to bake. Can't wait to pick produce out of the back yard. Next to the free range chickens, and I would say the free range bunnies, but they are now "sleeping" in John Boy's freezer. Gross.

Speaking of local rodent-like animals, I found this little, scared guy on our window sill yesterday. I think he was in a state of shock because he was just staring for like 15 minutes into oblivion. My roommate/animal rescuer Janelle was preparing a remedy of soggy crackers for him while we lost track of him. I think me snapping pictures of him helped him snap back to reality. My pictures of him are so cute, I am thinking about starting a photography blog about him and selling canvases of him on etsy for $200.

I am waiting for National Geographic to call at any moment. For now, back to the bread.

Extreme...everything

Have you noticed TLC's programming recently? Let's go back in time and hit on some classic, TLC faves:

• Trading Spaces (before Ty left the show to pursue a DUI and emotional, giant bus reveals)
• A Dating Story (friends setting up friends on blind dates never works out, it's awesome)
• What Not To Wear (never can go wrong with this one. They have been single-handedly keeping wide leg, dark denim in business)
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 (before Kate got plastic surgery, starting wear heels EVERYWHERE, and when episodes did not revolve around a trip to somewhere exotic, Kate having to hold an insect, screaming bloody murder and insulting a worker)

Well that was then, this is now:
Hoarders living with layers of dead animals.
Crazy extreme couponers who sometimes store extra helpings of Smart Water, dish detergent, cereal and ziplocks underneath their children's beds.
Or they even dumpster dive for extra inserts. Last week, at the grocery store, I ran into a few LEGIT extreme couponers (I happened to go on a double-super day) and they were a sight to see. They had giant binders to keep them organized, partners to push extra carts and a fierce stare that you would not want to interrupt.

But here's the thing: most extreme couponers that they show on TV are pretty unhealthy, and stock up on ridiculous items, like candy and 4,000 tubes of toothpaste. They boast that they save their family thousands of dollars a year, by merely organizing, scouring the earth for coupon clippings for 60 HOURS A WEEK. I would say maybe getting a full time job could save your family even more money...no child can nap for 60 hours/week. Coupon mom's, refer to my last post, don't forget you have children.

All that to say, I have become an Extreme Couponer. Okay, not really. Phew. I feel like there is the normal, I'm-Going-To-Keep-My-Eye-Out-For-The-Normal-Things-You-Would-Already-Buy. Exhibit A for me is hairgel. I go through like a tube & a half a week. I recently found a deal of a lifetime online and ordered 30. Yep, 30. My roommates were about to call TLC. I should be set until July. But, last week, I went to the store and saw hair gel marked down EVEN more, so I couldn't resist. Then, I found canned pumpkin, which I use almost ever week in baking muffins, and sometimes is expensive/in a drought, on extreme clearance for 79 cents- BAM!! Holla! So I took a picture to expose my insanity.


Really, I just think TLC started Extreme Couponers, just to ensure they would have seasons of Hoarders to come.